being necessary
i always wanted to be “necessary” in my jobs or my career. not in the way that a relief worker is necessary - or people will starve - or in the way a surgeon is necessary - or people could suffer and die - but simply in the ways that related to my job. i guess everyone probably has a bit of that desire, but i’d venture to say that i went further out of my way than most people to convince myself that i WAS necessary: i’d sit in on meetings that i didn’t really have to be a part of, i’d come in early to work - even when i wasn’t asked - if there was a crisis and they needed extra help, i’d volunteer for all the special projects, train the new hires, etc. etc. and not because i was trying to get ahead or because i was trying to get in good with my bosses, but because i really wanted to believe that what i did was a necessary function.
now, to be fair, for the first few years of my career, what i did WAS a necessary function (in the scope of my career field) - i was a live news producer and if i wasn’t there the show did NOT go on. but i still wanted to be more than that - i wanted to be the go-to person. i WANTED to get a call on my day off when there was breaking news. part of that was because i loved what i did, and didn’t mind being there twelve hours a day.
i didn’t want to feel like just a cog in the wheel, which is part of what led me to go to work for myself. i suspected that if i got another “job,” it would be rather unconventional. so that leads me to my most recent endeavor. last month, i acquired a new client that i am really excited about - she’s an amazing, inspirational, enlightening autho, coach and counselor (maryannelive.com). i’m in charge of her social media marketing strategy, and it is probably the most creative, unique client i’ve ever had. since we’re a small team, there’s no bureaucracy to get caught up in, no real protocols to follow, it’s flexible and i get to plan and attend her events, too!
but i underestimated one thing: being necessary is stressful! there’s nowhere to hide, no one to pass the buck to, there are no limits - and that’s a lot of pressure! of course, these stresses are - at their core - what makes this the perfect kind of work for me. one of the biggest things i enjoy about self-employment is defining what my job meant and taking charge - being able to do that under the direction of someone who i admire and whose message i believe in is even more empowering. i’d been looking for just such an empowerment, and now that i’ve found it, i hope that sense of accomplishment lasts for a long time - even when and if clients come and go!
May 03 2009 09:13 pm | career and consulting and the city
May 4th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
The problem inherent with having that need while working in any organization larger than, say - 1, is the fact that it’s counter to the organization’s interests. And not merely counter, but any healthy organization will proactively take all reasonable steps to prevent anyone from being absolutely necessary. As you pointed out, that need is inherent in all people to some level, which I think is a significant underlying cause of why large organizations tend to be dehumanizing, even when they intend not to be.
I also deal with an especially intense need to be “the person”. I take it very personally (even though my rational self knows better) when I’m not brought in for any problem, large or small. I struggle with fear and insecurity when I notice anything is being handled without consulting me. In conventional ways, I think of myself as exceptionally self-confident and above needing approval. But in much less apparent ways, I need to be validated most of all.