outsourcing the “nesting” instinct
the holidays have gotten me thinking about it: i am not a nester. my apartment itself isn’t really “decorated” at any time of year. i don’t have an eye for design at all except to choose lots of green accents, and keep things as minimalist as possible when living in 400 square feet ~ nothing on top of shelves, no trinkets or decorations or candles. (i do collect art from the countries i travel, but some of it isn’t even up, and the pieces that are, are haphazardly placed.) perhaps because of this, i’ve never decorated for the holidays - any of them, really. i go “home” every christmas where my mom exquisitely displays all my childhood nostalgia - how could i ever venture to compete with that? i don’t have my own family and the amount of time and effort to arrange something for two people who really don’t care either way, seems pointless. this combined with my aforementioned lack of design skills and space, and desire for minimalism, is the perfect storm for some really half-assed decor, even if i tried.
so i never have. not so much as a christmas tree. the interesting thing is, i LOVE the holidays. i love family tradition: decorating the tree, making sugar cookies, eating swedish meatballs with lingonberries on christmas eve and swedish sausage on christmas morning. i love looking at all the crazy christmas crafts we did as kids, and reading all our favorite books like “the little drummer boy” and “the grinch” and watching “little women” (which has somehow become a holiday tradition). i love santa lucia and candlelight services and singing carols around the piano. but these are all things i do with my family, and nothing i would try to replicate on my own, which is probably why i don’t see the point of decorating. like all my other traditions, i rely on my parents for that.
and i always assumed i was just a product of my age and environment. even if i WANTED to decorate, where in the world would i store the decorations the other 11 months of the year when space is at such a premium? besides, how many 20-somethings really feel the need to make things all cozy during the holidays? we’re still at the stage in life where we go home for christmas, so why go to all that effort, right? but the more i tune into these assumptions, the more ithink i’m in the minority.
i was discussing it with my mom (who granted is probably not the best control sample) and she said even when she and my dad first got married and lived in their first “teeny” house in LA (i scoff at their definition of small - it was a thousand square feet!) she was busy doing everything she could to make things more homey, especially during the holidays. coming from my mom, this is no surprise to me. but i’m beginning to think it’s another part of the domesticity gene i completely missed out on ~ i have absolutely zilch desire to make things “homey.” in fact, the word itself makes me uncomfortable. i don’t want a “home” or a “house” or a picket fence. i want a sleek, minimalist, converted loft in a awesome high rise with a doorman, overlooking central park. or the eiffel tower. or hong kong island. or whatever.
but i suspect eventually i’ll realize even my stainless-steel-and-black haven (with appropriate apple green accents, of course) will need a bit of holly or garland or mistletoe here or there. so like other things i dislike (cooking, for example), i just assume at some point it’s something i’ll outsource. i don’t see a lot of point in doing things you’re not good at and/or don’t enjoy if you don’t have to. right now, i have to cook more than i’d like but i look forward to the day when that is no longer a necessity. since i love the spirit of the holidays, one day in the future when more people are around to enjoy a festive converted loft, i expect mine will be decorated. but i also suspect i will have no hand in decorating it! in the mean time, i’ll continue to outsource more aspects of my life as i’m able, and in reality i imagine “interior designer who decorates my place for the holidays” will be pretty far down the list. but until then, i don’t see the point of bothering with it.
so ~ am i alone? are you a nester? what’s your stance on doing things you don’t like or aren’t good at?
November 30 2009 09:56 am | san francisco and the city and the future