October 20th, 2011 -- Posted in politics, portland, soapbox |
I’ve been avoiding this Occupy stuff because I knew that if I looked into it, I’d just get angry. I know myself pretty well so I was, of course, right - but I decided to at least get familiar with the list of demands from the protestors. What I found was a list of a couple dozen grievances covering just about every ill known to (American) humanity. There’s the stuff you would expect about corporate pensions and salaries and those responsible for the economic meltdown, but there’s just about every other issue on there as well. From repealing the death penalty, to stopping the war on drugs, to enacting a better environmental policy, to passing health care reform, and so on and so on. Even if some sort of meeting were to occur between the two sides, how could they begin to make headway at all with such a Festivus-like airing of grievances? The possibility seems laughable.
So what seems to have happened is everyone who has some sort of complaint - or just likes a good rage against The Man - has thrown their hat in the ring. There’s no need to atone for any financial missteps you may have taken when you can just blame someone else. It’s much more fun to march around with friends than to hustle and get creative and work - and at the end of it all, pay a huge portion of what you earned in taxes.
I’m not that old, but I feel so far removed from the current ethos when I talk about how Ryan used his time in the military as a way to (mostly) put himself through school (going double full-time at two different colleges). Or how we kept paying our mortgage even though we were naive and signed off on an adjustable rate loan. Or how when I got laid off, I booked up freelance work too fast to qualify for unemployment. Or how I’ll work my way through grad school instead of taking out loans.
On the one hand I’m mad at the people who are using this as a way to shift the blame of their less-than-ideal financial or economic circumstances. On the other hand, I’m mad that the movement couldn’t pick one or two core principles to focus on. People are clearly upset. They clearly have an audience. Reform of some kind arguably needs to occur. But they’ve seemingly wasted an opportunity for that to actually happen by airing every possible grievance and expecting something to be done about it.
I know there are people who have a singleminded reason for participating in these demonstrations. For them it’s not part of a blame game or a bandwagon. But I fear their efforts for targeted, peaceful reform is being drowned out by everyone else - you may know them as the 99%.
October 12th, 2011 -- Posted in marriage |
I’ve been married for almost eight years. Shocking, I know, since I’m only 25. Eight years isn’t an exceptionally long time - especially not compared to a lifetime of seeing the same person every.single.day wedded bliss. But it’s long enough to know that the words we said at our wedding in no way spoke to the reality of marriage. We even wrote our own vows - I have them around here somewhere - I’m sure they were good (I’m a writer!) and very personal. I don’t think they were invalid or impersonal or ill-founded, but just that I had know way of knowing what we would truly end up needing in our relationship.
Our first two years of marriage were hell; but by the grace of God - and a gifted therapist - we stayed together and (re)built a wonderful, happy, healthy relationship. How do you write a vow about something like that?
I’m sure we’ll go through many other things I couldn’t foresee then and I can’t even foresee now. My vows were beautiful, but they didn’t carry the weight of knowing what they actually meant and they didn’t have the stupid necessities I would include now. Things like: I promise not to mess with your stuff. I promise not to cook. I promise to make the bed if you clean the toilet. I promise to move for your startup if you promise to let me go to grad school just for the hell of it. I promise not to bitch about you eating out, if you promise to shut up about all the clothes I buy.
And so forth.
These days, we’re all about getting things in writing (like the as-yet-unsigned contract we have about kids) and I feel like my initial pass at vows wasn’t deep enough on both an emotional and a practical level.
Because the bizarre thing about wedding vows is you’re promising to do something without any inkling of what that “thing” is.
October 11th, 2011 -- Posted in politics, soapbox, the city |
There seems to be a sentiment pervading American thought that top earners deserve to be taxed more. The thought spreads from the rich and influential like Warren Buffet, to random people on the street with cardboard signs. Apparently, the theory is that the rich have enough to shoulder the burden of those who do not, and so should have to give more to the government.
My first problem with that statement is its complete subjectivity. Who decides what “enough” is? By a global standard, probably 99.99% of people in America have “enough.” Do we cut people off after they’ve had a single meal for the day? After they’ve invested in a single pair of shoes? After they’ve bought their first house? After they have a closet full of furs? After they start driving a Hummer? I’m not saying there should be no taxes, and for the purpose of this post I don’t want to quibble over exactly what that amount should be - but rather point out a flaw in the logic of “enough.”
My second problem with the above statement - and the crux of my argument - hinges on the second half of the sentence: the idea that we should have to give more to the government. Yes, I have more than enough but I believe *I* am the best allocator of my resources - not my family, not my church and certainly not my government. I believe that as I allocate my resources according to my decisions, not only do I provide a bigger benefit to the people and organizations to whom I give charitably, but I also provide a bigger benefit to the economy as a whole.
So yes, I suppose I stand with the 99% … but I do so through a desire for personal benevolence, not forced “charity.”
October 7th, 2011 -- Posted in family, soapbox |
After spending hours researching parenting and mommy blogs for work, I’ve become convinced that far too many people apparently lose their mind while pregnant or after becoming parents. What else could inspire things like babymoons and push presents? I’ve always just assumed I was one of the sane ones and would remain so should I ever have children or become pregnant, but I see now that everyone must think that. As a favor to future me (and to any kids future-me might have), here is a list of things I won’t do as a parent of a small child:
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