January 17th, 2012 -- Posted in marriage |
Today is our anniversary. I almost forgot because we’ll be “celebrating” it by Ryan and his other incubator classmates pitching their startups, and then jetting off to Google. Last year we “celebrated” by me going on a business trip to NYC with the startup I worked for at the time. So you can kind of get an idea for what our lives revolve around.
I usually say we don’t celebrate our anniversary - it’s too close to Christmas and too mainstream (we celebrate the anniversary of our first date instead). And then Ryan says I’m a cold-hearted shrew (not in so many words) which is mostly true, and something I’m not really a little bit proud of. But when it comes to these sort of things I am sort of unemotional and unromantic or - to put it in one word - a man.
But it’s not at all that I don’t value Ryan or our relationship. I’ve written before how wedding vows are worthless, so in an effort to prove that I do, in fact, have more than a hole where my heart should be, I decided to jot down a few things I would say if I were re-writing my vows today.
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January 5th, 2012 -- Posted in career, consulting, entrepreneurship, the future |
I’ve known too many sad retired people, and a recent study shows that moms who work (outside the home) are happier than those who don’t - but I have a different reason for not wanting to retire: I really love to work. I discovered this as I wandered the country listlessly over Christmas break.
Ok, not really - we had a great time seeing family and friends in DC, Estes Park and Breckenridge. But there was an undertone of un-productivity winding throughout the week I took “off.”
I know you can successfully work from the road - I do it quite often when I travel and spent three months traveling Asia while working. And I also know that it’s crucial to take some downtime and relax. I was just thrilled at the end of that relaxation time to be able to start working again. By Monday afternoon both Ryan and I had said something along the lines of - “I really missed this!”
Sure, part of this simply has to do with craving routine, but it also has to do with the energy and fulfillment that comes with working toward something enjoyable and productive. I hope that one day (in the semi-near future?!) my work won’t have to be so closely tied to earned income and my career pursuits can exist independently of the necessity for a salary. So in a sense, yes, I want to retire.
But I know that I could never - as my sister says - “faff about.” I need a project; a goal; a full schedule. Because I am the girl who, when living in Italy for a year and unable to work, put in a nearly full-time schedule as a volunteer at the newspaper and radio station. I’ve had paying jobs where people haven’t shown up as much ;).
January 3rd, 2012 -- Posted in the city |
Today, I gave ten bucks to a kid by the train station who was (allegedly) trying to get home to Seattle. Which is so unlike me. I only did it because yesterday there was a guy outside the grocery store asking for $8 to get a hotel room for the night, and I told him no. And then felt really bad about it for quite a while. Which is also really unlike me.
I’ve long said that my goal is to live with an open hand, but I realize I don’t do this very well. And when I DO do it, and the repercussions bum me out, I treat my giving like something with strings attached and not like a gift. So I’ve been trying to really tune into people’s needs and check in with my conscious before I move on - as far as I can tell that’s the best I can do.
Sure, I look for ways to give - both of my time and money - through organizations I trust and people I know. But I haven’t quite figured out how to deal gracefully and open-handedly with the one-off situations that bombard you on a practical level when you live downtown in a (semi) big city. On the one hand, I figure that it’s up to the person to do with my resources what they say they will.
On the other hand - I have to pay rent.
There will always be someone that needs something - and there will always be more worthy causes than I can support, let alone random people on the street that I may or may not be able to help. I have to be wise with my resources as well - you can go broke doing good deeds and then what good would that really do? Sure, that’s an extreme scenario but it’s a logical conclusion.
I tend to believe in a more pragmatic approach to helping people - teaching them a skill, or giving something specific I know they truly need. So does this mean I should curtail my open handedness at this point? I’ve personally seen unbridled giving do more harm than good and I don’t want to contribute to that either.
I suppose for now the easy answer is to just not carry much cash …