alexis in the city

non-retirement

I’ve known too many sad retired people, and a recent study shows that moms who work (outside the home) are happier than those who don’t - but I have a different reason for not wanting to retire: I really love to work. I discovered this as I wandered the country listlessly over Christmas break.

Ok, not really - we had a great time seeing family and friends in DC, Estes Park and Breckenridge. But there was an undertone of un-productivity winding throughout the week I took “off.”

I know you can successfully work from the road - I do it quite often when I travel and spent three months traveling Asia while working. And I also know that it’s crucial to take some downtime and relax. I was just thrilled at the end of that relaxation time to be able to start working again. By Monday afternoon both Ryan and I had said something along the lines of - “I really missed this!”

Sure, part of this simply has to do with craving routine, but it also has to do with the energy and fulfillment that comes with working toward something enjoyable and productive. I hope that one day (in the semi-near future?!) my work won’t have to be so closely tied to earned income and my career pursuits can exist independently of the necessity for a salary. So in a sense, yes, I want to retire.

But I know that I could never - as my sister says - “faff about.” I need a project; a goal; a full schedule. Because I am the girl who, when living in Italy for a year and unable to work, put in a nearly full-time schedule as a volunteer at the newspaper and radio station. I’ve had paying jobs where people haven’t shown up as much ;).

Overcoming the Summer of my Discontent

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
And all the clouds that low’r'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

Somewhere between not knowing where I’m going to live in a couple months, and losing my job, it hit me: I’m not freaking out. This is incredibly, fundamentally, anti-Alexis. Which can only mean that somehow in the past year or two since my last existential crisis I’ve hit some stride of contentedness. I’m sure it’s a combination of a lot of things: a deepened spirituality, a supportive community, increased financial stability, and probably a dose of good ol’ fashioned maturity. The Alexis of five or even three years ago would be in meltdown mode by now - so of course I’m bracing for that and worried it’ll happen down the road. But considering the massive amount of upheaval in my life right now I am somehow managing to not be curled up in the middle of the floor, sucking my thumb.

So back to the upheaval. Ryan and I started talking a few months ago about moving sometime this year. The exact where, when, how - and every other necessary detail - are still a question mark for a number of reasons due to other things we’re dealing with. That uncertainty alone would typically have been enough to send me into a hissy fit. Combine that with the need to cover other bases in case we do pull up our San Francisco stakes - like applying for schools - and the necessity of not losing sight of my commitments here, and you’ve got the perfect storm for a change-loving, uncertainty-hating gal like me.

Then last week I lost my job. Kind of out of the blue. Fortunately, I’d maintained my client relationships while working for Signpost so I had a safety net but nevertheless, I’d assumed that if I ever did lose my job I’d be reduced to the thumb-sucking, fetal ball of hot mess mentioned above. I’m not at all ruling out that this could still happen. But so far I’ve enjoyed re-discovering the flexibility of being completely autonomous. I think I’m going to go back to only working Monday-Thursday!

Three day weekends aside, I didn’t join Signpost for the great pay and shortened work weeks (c’m on, it’s a startup). I joined it because even though I could make more money and work less while working for myself, I wanted to be a part of a team again. I wanted to collaborate and have inside jokes with my coworkers and help determine the direction of a company. I still might want that, but I’m not worried about finding another job. I’m not even worried that I can’t really start looking until we figure out what’s going on in other areas of our life.

I’ve thought about just going to seminary full-time and pursuing a hospital chaplaincy internship like I was going to before I accepted the Signpost job. But I’m not worried that I don’t know what school I’d attend or that last year I turned down the internship program into which I was accepted.

And all of this not-worrying has me worried. It’s so unlike me. While I suspect that that thumbsucking girl in the fetal position is still inside me, I hope my new-found contentedness in the midst of chaos will continue to drown her out. I don’t have time for her anyway; I’m too busy being not-worried.

The five year unPlan

When I was ten, I decided what I wanted to be when I grew up - and then proceeded to eventually do it. When I was 16, I picked out what college I wanted to go to - and by the time I was 17 I’d applied and been accepted. When I broke up with my highschool boyfriend (now a dear friend of mine) I vowed I wouldn’t go through that again - so the next guy I dated was the guy I married. Obviously not all of my plans and decisions have been wise, but throughout the course of my entire life - for as long as I can remember anyway - I’ve been a planner. And the things I’ve planned, the courses I’ve laid for myself, have been fulfilled with precision.

Which makes what I’m about to say even more surprising.

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how to get bloggers to work with you

i’ve been working on a long, lengthy post on the insights i’m gaining while reading “jesus for president.” however, my faithful, amazing computer that had been with me on my journey for nearly two years (can you tell i was attached!) died over the weekend, taking with it the post i’d been writing. since then, i have NOT been motivated to start all over. in the absence of a post for over a week (gasp!) i’m linking to my internet friend’s blog, breaking even.

i’ve worked with her on behalf of clients in the past, and she’s reviewing the book by the woman i work for now. her post is on how marketing people (like me) can get bloggers and writers (like her) to work with them. she uses me as an example of what to do to encourage the afore-mentioned partnership, and i must say i’m quite flattered :-).

since i don’t talk that much about what i do professionally on this blog - although i mean to! - i thought this would be a good chance for anyone interested to get an idea of what i spend my hours (and hours) doing - and why i can legitimately spend most of my day on facebook. read her post here!

cross-promotion: eco-friendly pet clothes

i’ve mentioned before that this isn’t the only blog-child i’ve been raising. my other baby goes along with a company i have on the side: an eco-friendly pet clothing company called earth’s best friend. my partner (BFF, former college roommate and business genius michelle) and i have been putting our creative brains together in order to cultivate - and then trying to impart to our seamstress - our next line of products.

we’ve come up with a bunch of sketches and our seamstress has amazing turned them into a couple new proto-types that i would LOVE for you to check out and leave feadback on. before we go into mass production, we’re trying to get as much insight, suggestions, criticism and ideas as possible. so tell us what you think, and we’ll keep you posted on our progress!