alexis in the city

outsourcing the “nesting” instinct

the holidays have gotten me thinking about it: i am not a nester. my apartment itself isn’t really “decorated” at any time of year. i don’t have an eye for design at all except to choose lots of green accents, and keep things as minimalist as possible when living in 400 square feet ~ nothing on top of shelves, no trinkets or decorations or candles. (i do collect art from the countries i travel, but some of it isn’t even up, and the pieces that are, are haphazardly placed.) perhaps because of this, i’ve never decorated for the holidays - any of them, really.  i go “home” every christmas where my mom exquisitely displays all my childhood nostalgia - how could i ever venture to compete with that? i don’t have my own family and the amount of time and effort to arrange something for two people who really don’t care either way, seems pointless. this combined with my aforementioned lack of design skills and space, and desire for minimalism, is the perfect storm for some really half-assed decor, even if i tried.

so i never have. not so much as a christmas tree. the interesting thing is, i LOVE the holidays. i love family tradition: decorating the tree, making sugar cookies, eating swedish meatballs with lingonberries on christmas eve and swedish sausage on christmas morning. i love looking at all the crazy christmas crafts we did as kids, and reading all our favorite books like “the little drummer boy” and “the grinch” and watching “little women” (which has somehow become a holiday tradition). i love santa lucia and candlelight services and singing carols around the piano. but these are all things i do with my family, and nothing i would try to replicate on my own, which is probably why i don’t see the point of decorating. like all my other traditions, i rely on my parents for that.

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my monastic retreat, solitude and finding myself

i am now present to the magnificence of my life

i really try to stay away from touchy/feely/spiritual-y statements as i feel they tend to get in the way of an intellectually-driven quest. but at the same time, certain esoteric components of spirituality do jump out at me from time to time, as the above quote did.

i was minutes away from heading off to my monastic retreat for the weekend. ryan was dropping me off at the monestary in berkeley and we stopped to have lunch before i began my descent into the unknown. ryan indulged my desire to go to cafe gratitude which is entirely another story in and of itself, but while we were there i pulled out a card with this quote on it from the deck that was at our table. it seemed a fitting way to start my journey toward peace, joy and contentment.

it was like something/someone/whatever was saying: your life has already been designed with a purpose. it already has meaning. it’s already fulfilling. now you have to figure that out for yourself.

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why church is like the gym

church is like the gym for me. some people have probably heard my analogy, but here it is:

i get up every morning and go to the gym, 7 am, like clockwork. it’s not a choice for me, it’s not something i evaluate, it’s just something i do. it’s something i’ve always done basically my entire life, and i don’t really think about it. i don’t know how to do anything else from 7 to 8am. i don’t particularly enjoy it - i don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “oh boy, i’m so excited to get up and work out.” like i said - i don’t think about it at all. i show up at the gym and i work the hell out of myself. i don’t have a blast while i’m there, but i don’t hate it. then, after i leave, i’m glad i went - i feel like i did something good for myself and that i made a good decision. and if i don’t go (yes, there have been a handful of times over the course of my life where i’ve **gasp** skipped the gym!) i feel like crap. overall i see the benefits it has in my life and therefore it’s not a habit i’m going to part with.

this is pretty much the perfect description for how i view church. i don’t go every day or anything, but it’s a weekly habit that’s been ingrained in me since the dawn of time as i know it. i don’t really enjoy it, but i’m not miserable - and after i go, i’m glad i went … though - like the gym - that’s mostly because if i don’t go, i feel guilty.

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What’s the deal with DOMA?

massachusetts filed a lawsuit wednesday against the federal government that calls into question the constitutionality of the defense of marriage act (DOMA).

i’ve tackled this subject before as i believe the federal government should leave itself out of the marriage thing altogether. in my version of an ideal world, there would be two different rules governing marriage - the legal side of things which would allow for equal treatment of all people (what we would now consider civil unions), and the religious side of things which would allow for what we now term “marriage.” however, this is not the way things are, nor do i think we’re heading in that direction so what should be done given the way things are now?

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a pro-gay marriage stance on the federal government’s involvement

some of you may have seen this huffington post article i posted on facebook. basically, gay rights groups are upset that the supreme court last week overturned a gay marriage case at the federal level. the couple was challenging 1996’s defense of marriage act which “prevents couples in states that recognize same-sex unions from securing Social Security spousal benefits, filing joint taxes and other federal rights of marriage.” part of the frustration is that obama has pledged to try to repeal this act, and many see the ruling as inconsistent with this promise.

i am a gay marriage supporter. i am staunchly (STAUNCHLY) opposed to DOMA. i want equal rights for all people. and i support the supreme court’s decision last week. here’s why:

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