alexis in the city

professional sports and the demise of culture

“Do you know the word ”transcendentalist”?  [This] is German romantic philosophy.  We throw off all our constraints and we come to know ourselves  through insight and experience.  …  It’s just that with all of this transcendence comes much emphasis on perfecting oneself.”

~ Little Women

i hate professional sports. and not just in a “this is my personal opinion” kind of way, but in a “this is contributing to the downfall of society” kind of a way. for the point of this post, i’m going to give college sports a pass, since i get that there’s more of a reason to have a vested interest. i still think people take it too far, but i get the idea of camaraderie and fraternity. my college didn’t have a football team so it’s hard for me to understand this completely, but i can identify with the concept.

by way of background, i did not grow up in a professional sports-loving family. it wasn’t a huge issue for us or anything, but more just the understanding that there were far better things to do with your time than get wrapped up in pro sports culture. that’s not to say my dad didn’t have his teams (the broncos and the dolphins), but instead of sitting down to watch a game, he would record said game and watch the major plays later, fastforwarding through the bulk of the antics on and off the field. it would usually take him an hour, max, to get through a game in this way again reinforcing the idea that life is too valuable to waste sitting in front of a TV.

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never ask a lady her age

i’ve discovered that there are two things i grew up thinking it was rude to ask a complete stranger, but are actually socially acceptable (apparently):

1). how much is your rent?

2) how old are you?

living in a city where rent prices are a popular dinner conversation topic, i’ve gotten comfortable talking about it - with friends AND strangers - and it doesn’t bother me any more. (though i still her my mom’s “tut, tut” in the back of my head!) the second one, however, continues to throw me for a loop. i was at a marketing conference today and i got asked TWICE how old i was. i get that i’m young and the question usually comes after people find out i’m married. it’s probably a snap reaction, especially in a city where the average marriage age is definitely closer to 30 than 20. (and, from first-hand experience, I would not recommend getting married when you’re closer to 20 than 30, but i digress!)

it never ceases to amaze me when someone i’ve jut met point blank asks me my age. and i have yet to come up with a clever answer. sometimes i say i’m in my 20’s, sometimes i just say i’m young. sometimes i blurt out my actual age out of sheer surprise. i try not to get too snarky with people i just met - i reserve that for my close friends :-)

i am more than an “s”

i hate that i’m a mrs. i don’t hate being married but i hate that who i am can be reduced to one tiny letter on the front of an envelope. let’s face it: “s” is the only thing differentiating me from ryan when we get things addressed to “mr and mrs ryan waggoner.”

i’m sure i’m over-reacting and i’m sure it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. a lot. it’s one more way that we conform to the constructs of a pre-feminist, patriarchial society without even realizing it. and - while i’d like to say my anger is directed toward the injustices revealed by this contruct and then subsequently enforced upon all women - (although that is the cause of some of my emotion), this is rooted in a far baser reaction: i am perturbed on a personal level.

let’s set aside the fact that i feel waaaaay too young for anyone to call me “mrs.” or the fact that i kept my original name. if we must do the mr. and mrs. thing and we must use only one last name, is it REALLY too much to ask to include MY name in there? i mean, i would be happy with a simple “mr and mrs ryan and alexis waggoner.” (see that - i don’t even care if ryan’s name is listed first. that much. although i think it should be alphabetical … but whatever.)

i know most people don’t even THINK about these kinds of things, so i don’t take it personally when i get something addressed to me as an “s.” i’m not frustrated with the person that sent it, i’m frustrated with the length of time it takes our habits and constructs as a society to be deconstructed and reconstructed differently and more effectively.

the “feminine wound” is a disservice to feminism

a couple months ago, my sister gave me a book called “dance of the dissident daughter” by sue monk kidd. this post is by no means meant to be a review of the entire book, since i could only get through about half of it. it was horribly written (especially considering kidd is a writer), it drew some ridiculous parallels and came to some groundless conclusions. all of this would be ok considering it was written as a memoir, but kidd was also making the case for her transformation from traditional, evangelical wife to what i would describe as hippy-dippy, dance naked under the moon (seriously she does this), find feminist meaning in EVERYTHING (and i mean everything - from a woman crying on the front porch to a tree in a forest), borderline pantheism. i’m going to need a little bit more than “i learned to trust the divine within” to be able to swallow that transition!

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a heritage of environmental responsibility

“There is enough for all.
The earth is a generous mother; she will provide in plentiful abundance food for all her children if they will but cultivate her soil in justice and in peace.”
Bourke Coekran, author

“I really wonder what gives us the right to
wreck this poor planet of ours.”
Kurt Vonnegut Jr., novelist

i’ve been waiting to conclude my series on faith, stewardship and environmental responsibility, and i thought that earth day would be a perfect time to wrap up. so here is the fourth reason why eco-responsibility is ingrained into my life.

4. i just grew up this way - and i live in san francisco. obviously, it takes a village to raise a child, and a good part of my outlook on environmentalism as stewardship came from my upbringing, and continues to come from my surroundings. growing up with a mom who washed ziploc bags (and no, it wasn’t to save money) and now living in one of the most hippie cities in the country has, i’m willing to admit, skewed my perception of reality a little bit. (you mean not EVERYONE has a pile of rotting fruit compost on their counter?!)

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