alexis in the city

My Reverse Childhood

I was born 30. At least. And in some ways I’ve continued to age to the point where I’m now somewhere in my late 50’s. In terms of my social life I am and always have been pretty lame. I never partied and never really wanted to. I never experimented with drugs or sex. I went to class and went to bed on time. I ran for student government … blahblahblah. You get the point.

I’m slowly catching up in some areas - I played beer pong for the first time last weekend with my neighbors - but I’m still that girl who brings wine to a kegger. More than once. And I know some people think all this will catch up to me and sometime soon I’ll become a raging partier with more rebellion than sense. It could happen but I’m skeptical - in part because I’m living my childhood now, and I kind of think I appreciate it a lot more.

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Quitting (un)Christianity

“Young ‘outsiders’ and Christians alike do not want a cheap, ordinary or insignificant life but their vision of present-day Christianity is just that - superficial, antagonistic, depressing. … [They] deserve better than the unChristian faith and won’t put up with anything less. And, unlike any previous generation, they will not give us time to get our act together. If we do not deal with unChristian faith, we will have missed our chance to bring spiritual awakening to a new generation.”

~Dave Kinnaman, President of Barna Institute and author of unChristian

unChristian (whose author, Dave Kinnaman, is an alum of my alma mater, Biola University) focuses primarily on the perceptions of “Christianity” from those outside the faith but also spends a fair amount of time in the first couple chapters discussing reactions from young people within The Church as well. The bottom line? These perceptions and reactions are pretty similar. Whether from inside or outside, it’s clear The Church is failing miserably in being relevant to the “conversation generation.”

This is no surprise. But what makes this book and its conclusions so powerful is that they’re based on three years of extensive study conducted by one of the most prestigious and respected research institutions. Based on these years of study, Kinnaman points to six major skepticisms and objections to Christianity in America in the 21st century that come from young people both within and outside of the church:

1. Hypocritical

2. Too focused on getting converts

3. Anti-homosexual

4. Sheltered

5. Too political

6. Judgmental

I could’ve written this list myself (and have, in many more words, over the course of my blogging career). If I - as a member of The Church (for better or worse) - have experienced pain and frustration from these above objections, how much more so would it affect someone outside of this religion? A lot of people, churches and faith communities are starting to understand what a big deal this is - but a lot aren’t, thinking that the answer to the preferences of Gen X / Gen Y / The Millenials et al is to buckle down, yell louder and point the finger harder.

While much of this blog is about my struggle with the Christianity of modern America, and while this book is written with data I could’ve given myself, I am by no means exempt from the issues. I think those who yell louder and point fingers in an effort to build a dam around the necessary evolution of faith are wrong. But I know I don’t always handle my opinions in the best way possible, often focusing on division and anger rather than unification and love.

There is, perhaps, nothing I want more than to be part of a faith that’s relevant and active in my community on a fundamental, actionable, day-to-day level. I hope the people within my religion who disagree with my implementation can at least see my motives. And I hope the people outside my religion can see beyond the unChristianity that often surrounds it.

(As for the book, HIGHLY recommended, especially if you’d like to crawl inside the head of someone who struggles with The Church.)

Losing my religion

What’s gotten me into trouble though is my suspicion that a person can be a follower of the way of Jesus without affiliating with the Christian religion, and my simultaneous lament that a person can be accepted and even celebrated as a card-carrying member of the Christian club but not actually be a follower of the way of Jesus. And even worse, I’ve proposed that I would rather be a follower of the way of Jesus and not be affiliated with the Christian religion than the reverse.

-Brian McLaren

Finding our Way Again

The Baby Talk Deal: how my 23-year-old self sold me out

I thought I’d be a different person by now. When I think about myself as a kid and what I expected my life to be like as an adult, I guess I thought things would be … different. I didn’t have any sort of tangible, explainable idea of the exact life I would live, I never had 2.5-kids-white-picket-fence delusions of grandeur. And overall I think if my teenage self could’ve seen me now, she’d be pretty happy with where I’ve ended up so far.

And yet in the last few months I’ve been thinking a lot about how I just expect that one day I’ll wake up and be someone different - someone more adult, more mature. I still look at my friends who are a few years older than me and think - when I get to that point, I’ll totally have it all together. But I’ve been thinking that for years now and I have not managed to accumulate any sense of said “togetherness.” At lest I don’t feel like I have.

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Down with dairy: how I became a snob about yet another food product

Does it seem strange that I have a favorite dairy farm? Does it seem strange that dairy would be something I would feel extremely passionate about? If you answered yes to the above questions, you’re perfectly right (if you answered “no,” you just know me too well); dairy isn’t something most of us think a lot about. I sure didn’t until recently - yet once I was converted it soon became clear I would no longer be able to continue as I had been.

Since my food awakening about two years ago at the hands of San Francisco and Michael Pollan, I’ve been steadily chipping away at the foods which I find acceptable to eat. I’ve adopted a diet that is devoid of beef and pork, focuses heavily on products and produce that are locally-made and opts for cage-free poultry when I eat meat. I do most of my grocery shopping at farmer’s markets, trying to build the foundation of my diet with what I can get directly from the growers and producers ~ and in San Francisco, that goes way beyond produce! I regularly purchase the most delicious ravioli, freshest bread, flavorful sorbet, sweetest honey, crispiest almonds, tastiest dried fruit and so forth, right from the people that make these things. I’m obsessed.

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